Separating with children: where to start

Last checked: 31 October 2026

The short answer

You do not need a court order to separate, and you do not need to go to court to make arrangements for your children. Most parents start by agreeing on where the children will live and when they will see each other, then put it in writing. If you cannot agree, you will usually need to try family dispute resolution (mediation) before you can apply to court. If you or your children are in danger, call 000.

Key dates and time limits

• Divorce: you can apply once you have been separated for 12 months and 1 day.
• Property and spouse maintenance (married): apply within 12 months after your divorce becomes final.
• Property and maintenance (de facto): apply within 2 years after the relationship ended.
• Child support: tell Services Australia about changes in care within 28 days.

Step by step

1. 1

   Make sure everyone is safe

   If you or your children are in danger, call 000. If there has been family violence, you can get support from 1800RESPECT and ask about a family violence intervention order. Safety comes first in every decision the court makes about children.

2. 2

   Sort out the day to day for the children

   Work out where the children will live, how they will get to school, and when they will see the other parent. Keep it simple and write it down. Keep a note of what was agreed and when.

3. 3

   Get free information and advice

   Call the Family Relationship Advice Line on 1800 050 321 or contact Victoria Legal Aid. They can explain your options and refer you to a Family Relationship Centre or a lawyer. Getting advice early can stop small problems growing.

4. 4

   Try to agree, with help if you need it

   You can make a parenting plan, which is a written, signed and dated agreement between parents. If you cannot agree, a family dispute resolution practitioner can help you both talk it through. If you do agree, you can ask the court to turn it into consent orders.

5. 5

   Sort out money for the children

   Either parent can apply to Services Australia for a child support assessment. The amount is worked out with a formula that looks at both parents' income and how much care each parent has.

6. 6

   Deal with property and divorce

   Property and divorce are separate from parenting arrangements. Divorce does not decide anything about children or property. Watch the time limits for property claims.

7. 7

   Go to court only if you need to

   If you cannot agree, you can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for parenting orders. In most cases you must first try family dispute resolution and get a section 60I certificate, unless an exemption applies, such as family violence or urgency.

Who can help

Forms and the law